Let's be real: nobody grabs a 250-year-old medical pamphlet for a laugh. But A Treatise on the Crime of Onan by Dr. S. A. D. Tissot is the perfect storm of weird history, creepy facts, and unintended comedy. This is the book that essentially invented the concept of masturbation as a disease.

The 'Story' (If You Can Call It That)

Tissot—a real doctor—makes his case with case studies of people he claims were wrecked by, uh, self-pleasure. He blames it for acne, bad eyes, paralysis, mental decline, weakened lungs, and even death. He uses fancy diagrams and scary testimonials. It feels less like science and more like a horror novella written by your dentist. Think of it like the world's first viral misinformation campaign. Except dangerous.

Why You Should Read It

First off, it's fascinatingly insane. Reading Tissot is like eavesdropping on a misguided but very confident uncle. But what makes it unforgettable is the question it leaves: How do we get things so wrong? Over two centuries later, guilt and fear about bodies are culture-defining themes. This book is the blueprint. You'll also connect with human weakness—the need for absolute explanations, the comfort of having a scapegoat. It forces you to laugh, then think, then laugh again. The writing is hyper-convincing, which makes it scarier and funnier.

More than anything, it’s a book about control. It shows how easily fear drowns out truth. Seeing Tissot's earnest panic makes you grateful for our modern sense of tolerance and nuance. I found myself angry toward the end—not at him, but at what he accidentally set in motion. It’s illuminating, like visiting a sanitarium with the audio guide.

Final Verdict

Who is this book for? History buffs, yes. If you love seeing old-timey medicine, you'll dig in. Fans of sociology and psychology will enjoy the undercurrents. But absolutely only if you can stomach some 'morality' masquerading as 'fact.' It’s not a fun night read unless conflict, discomfort, and thought experiments are your jam. Skip if you're squeamish or easily grossed out. Read if you ever wondered where all those old gym-teacher warnings came from. Buy now, laugh later.